What Happens on Tour, Stays on Tour
by ravenclawdancer4999
Summary: What do nerf guns, late night snack adventures, and pranks have in common? All are a part of the various antics and shenanigans that the Starkids will encounter while on tour. Takes place before and during Apocalyptour.
1. Ready to Go

Dylan Saunders' eyes slowly opened, adjusting to the light streaming through his window. Yawning, he rubbed his eyes and stretched. He walked to the kitchen and made himself a steaming cup of coffee. As Dylan sipped his hot beverage, his eyes slid to the calendar hanging on the refrigerator. He grinned and set his empty mug on the counter. He was beyond pumped for the Starkid's second tour, Apocalyptour, which was starting rehearsals that day. As Dylan showered and pulled on his clothes, his mind wandered to the other Starkids.

_"God knows what they're doing right now," _he pondered, smiling to himself, _"Knowing them, making mischief and wreaking havoc on the city…" _Little did he know, his assessment was right on the mark.

"RISE AND SHINE JULIA!" Lauren Lopez yelled in her roommate's ear, causing her to topple off her bed in shock, "APOCALYPTOUR REHEARSAL STARTS TODAY!"

"Do think that for once you could have woken me up the _normal _way?" Julia Albain groaned from the floor of the girls' apartment, rubbing her head, "A nice, 'Time to wake up Julia,' or maybe a nudge on the shoulder?"

"Maybe," the petite girl grinned evilly, "But it wouldn't have been nearly as entertaining to watch..."

"Really? Why don't you watch THIS?" Julia grabbed her abandoned pillow gave her friend a hearty thwack on the head. Giggling, Lauren grabbed a second pillow and the two continued to beat each other until they both fell on the floor laughing.

"And as for rehearsal starting today," Julia said breathlessly, "I should know, I'M THE DIRECTOR! Practice won't start without me, whether everyone likes it or not."

"Well then, Miss Director," Lauren replied with mock seriousness, "We should get going unless you want to be late! I made us a gourmet meal to start the day, Raisin Bran a la Lopez."

"Ah yes," Julia snickered, "Cereal, the breakfast of kings! Race you to the kitchen!" She took off towards the table, Lauren following close behind.

On the other side of the city, Brian Rosenthal awoke in his and his two friends' hotel room. He and Jim Povolo had picked up their friend from the airport the night before and were offered an invitation to spend the night. A mischievous grin spread over his face and he tiptoed to the bathroom. He filled a cup of water as quietly as he could and crept back into the main room. He passed Jim, who was curled in an almost cat-like position, sleeping peacefully.

"_He's almost cute when he sleeps_," Brian mused. His gaze slid over to the bed next to Jim's. There, sound asleep, was Joey Richter. With a smirk, he tossed the cold water on to his friend's neck.

"WAKE UP JOEY!" he shouted as Joey woke with a start. Brian made a break for the door as soon as the words had left his lips, knowing he was in for it.

"BRIAN, YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Joey yelled, scrambling out of bed after him. Jim didn't stir until the door slammed shut. The tall boy jolted awake, slowly got out of bed, and carefully peeked out into the hallway. He witnessed Joey running down the hall, chasing after Brian. Jim shook his head and shut the door once again.

_"Well,"_ he shrugged, _"I should probably shower before someone calls the manager…"_

Across town, Jaime Lyn Beatty lightly knocked on the door of her friend's apartment. After a few seconds had passed with no answer, she fished through her purse and pulled out a key. She quietly unlocked the door and slipped into the back bedroom. There she found Meredith Stepien, still fast asleep underneath her warm covers.

"Mere," Jaime smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed and giving the girl a gentle shake, "Time to get up, Apocalyptour rehearsals start today."

"Five more minutes," Meredith mumbled, her voice muffled. Jaime rolled her eyes and yanked back the blankets as hard as she could.

"We're going to be late if you don't get up soon," she reminded her friend, keeping a tight grip on the sheets.

"Remind me why I gave you the key to my apartment again?" Meredith groaned, her face still buried in the pillow.

"Because you love me dearly?" Jaime singsonged.

"No, I don't think that's it…" the girl grumbled, turning over to the other side of the bed, "Don't expect me to get up anytime soon."

"Well that's too bad," her friend smirked, starting to get up, "Because I just so happened to have brought you Starbucks…"

"I'M UP, I'M UP!" Meredith shouted, practically jumping out of bed.

In yet another part of the city, Joe Walker silently crept towards his friend's bed with his Nerf gun in hand.

"_I'll sneak up on him when he's unarmed and vulnerable;" _Walker thought sinisterly, _"Then I will claim my prize of calling dibs on my bunk on the tour bus first, inevitably picking the one closest to the air conditioner, leaving the rest of them to sleep in discomfort and agonizing heat."_

He gazed on to his sleeping opponent, pointing directly at his forehead. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, Brian Holden woke quickly and yanked another Nerf gun twice the size of his from underneath the pillow, aiming directly between Joe's eyes.

"Drop the gun," he commanded, "Or there will be a little accident involving your head and my Nerf gun. I'm not afraid to let this dart fly."

"But you-" Walker protested angrily.

"Were asleep?" Brian finished. "I can see as how your one-track mind would believe that you could sneak up on me while I was unarmed and vulnerable. Then you would claim your prize of calling dibs on your bunk on the tour bus first, inevitably picking the one closest to the air conditioner, leaving the rest of us to sleep in discomfort and agonizing heat." Brian gave a cold laugh as Walker's jaw dropped in disbelief. "Poor, predictable Joseph."

"Alright, you've had your gloating time," Joe grumbled, "We'd better get going though."

An hour later, the group slowly trickled into the rehearsal room. Dylan cheerfully strode in, glancing around at his friends

"How was everyone's morning?" he asked jauntily. Julia, Joey, Meredith, and Walker all glared at Dylan menacingly, condoning his perky attitude. "Actually, scratch that. I don't even want to know…"


	2. Clothes Make The Man, Right?

"Look what June just sent over!" Julia announced enthusiastically, sitting a large cardboard box down on a table, "And no, it isn't a puppy, so stop asking, Joey." The boy gave a small pout while everyone else eagerly gathered around the table. Upon opening the box, they found eleven labeled bags, each holding several articles of clothing.

"Alright ladies and gents," Jaime proclaimed, "Let's get these costumes divvied up and take them for a test run." Jaime helped Julia pass out the correct bags to their owners. The boys and girls split off to the restrooms to try the clothes on.

The girls each extracted a different colored top from their bag; white for Lauren, khaki for Meredith, and dark brown for Jaime. Lauren's costume also consisted of a maroon tank with matching shorts while Meredith received an orange tank, jean shorts, a vest, and an almost Indiana Jones-like hat and Jaime was given matching brown shorts, a white undershirt, a red neckerchief, and a pair of feather earrings.

"It's too bad they don't wear sparkles on archeological digs," Lauren sighed, pulling on the white shirt.

Over in the boys' restroom, Dylan, Brian, Joey, Holden, and Jim had all emerged from the stalls.

"What a lovely skirt, Jim," Holden snorted.

"It's not a skirt, it's a kilt," Jim responded seriously, "Only worn by the incredibly wealthy and the most powerful Mayan deities."

"Whatever you say, Povolo," Brian shrugged, adjusting his jacket, "I'm really liking this tie though, it makes me feel very, intellectual…"

"Same here," Joey nodded, giving his bow tie another yank, "Does anyone else think I look like that one professor guy from _Tarzan_?"

"Oh yeah, Jane's dad?" Dylan nodded, "I remember him….I wonder what's taking Joe so long?"

"Dylan, I think June gave me Lopez's shorts by mistake!" Walker called from inside the stall, "Can you text her to see if there was a mix up?" Joey pulled out his phone and texted June, just like Joe had asked him to.

"June says that she's positive that she gave you the right shorts, she triple checked each costume," Joey responded, after receiving a prompt reply, "They can't be that bad, Walker…" Right on cue, Joe walked out of the stall and received a roar of laughter from everyone else. He wore a pair of shorts that could be considered way too short for any straight male.

"I guess they can be that bad," Jim choked, throwing back his head in hysterics.

"It's not like I picked out the costume!" Walker complained, yanking the shorts down as far as he could.

"Regardless of your discomfort," Brian lectured, trying to sound scholarly, "Rehearsal was supposed to have started two minutes ago, so unless we want another lecture from Julia on the importance of being on time, I suggest we go now."

"No way am I showing my face in that rehearsal room wearing _these_," Joe protested, making a gesture to the offending article of clothing, "Lopez will never let me live it down."

"Unless you want to rehearse in your boxers," Holden rolled his eyes and drummed his fingers on the counter, "You don't have much of a choice."

"NO!" Walker argued.

"If you're going to be baby about it, why don't you just stay here?" Joey sighed exasperatedly.

"Thank you, Joey," Joe said gratefully, "That's the first good idea you've had in months."

"HEY!" Joey exclaimed angrily, "I have lots of good ideas! What about the one I had about the kangaroo and-"

"Just drop it, I'm leaving before they send a search party after us," Dylan stated, turning on his heel and heading out the door. Brian, Joey, Holden, and Jim all strode out behind him, leaving Joe by himself. However, just when he thought he was alone, Jim Povolo came right back in, put him in a headlock, and dragged him down the hall.

"Nice ascot, Holden," Jaime snickered once the group entered the rehearsal room.

"I thought so," Holden smirked, giving a small tug on Jaime's neckerchief, "Seeing as you're wearing the exact same one."

"I'm really liking the whole pirate thing you've got going on, Dyl," Meredith grinned, "Very macho."

"Not as much as I like your hat," he joked, tugging it down over her eyes. Jim appeared in the doorway, trying to shove Joe into the room, wearing his Mayan deity costume.

"I'm impressed, Jim," Lauren commented while watching him try to yank his friend into sight, "I thought that Walker was the only one who would agree to wear a skirt, speaking of which, where is he?"

"It's not a skirt, it's a kilt," Jim complained, "And Joe refuses to come in here because of his costume."

"Walker, you've spent a whole act wearing nothing but a cape, tights, and tap shoes, not to mention you've done an entire show dressed as a woman!" Julia groaned, "Now you're telling me that you're embarrassed?"

"Maybe," Joe answered quietly, but then summoned a stronger voice, "No, I'm not!" He quickly strode into the room, trying to put on a brave face. The girls' jaws fell open in surprise, staying in that position for a few seconds before Lauren spoke up.

"ARRRGGH!" she yelped, putting her hands over her face, "MY EYES, THEY BURN!" The Starkids fell into a fit of hysterics while Walker's face burned a deep shade of red.

"Come on Walker, it's not _that _bad," Meredith reasoned, trying to suppress her own giggles, "You look cool, kinda like Indiana Jones."

"Indiana Jones never had to wear shorts like this," Walker muttered, pulling on the article of clothing again.

"Well, I'll say this," Clark Baxtresser, their pianist, laughed, "All of your female fans will _love_ those shorts."

"Shut up, Clark," Walker mumbled, "Nobody asked you…"


	3. DIBS!

The Starkids all filed outside to check out the buses they would be using during the tour. From the outside, both looked completely identical, but the guys were still suspicious.

"You better not have gotten us another shitty bus, Lopez," Walker accused as he climbed on to the boys' bus to check it out.

"I swear I didn't do anything!" Lauren argued, giving him a playful shove, "Maybe karma finally hit you for being such an awful person."

"If you ask me, they were both pretty shitty," Meredith added pensively, "We couldn't poop on either one of them."

"Point taken," Jaime remarked.

"Whoa!" Joey yelled from inside the tour bus, "Check this out, guys! The TV actually works!"

"Let it be known that today, a miracle has occurred," Jim announced solemnly, "The god of national tours is smiling down on us." The Starkids nodded, trying to maintain their composure, but failing in the process.

"Don't jinx it, Jim," Brian warned, "Anything that can go wrong, will. It's Murphy's Law."

This earned him stares from nearly everyone, who were not quite sure how to respond. Taking advantage of the pause, Holden threw his bag on to the nearest bed.

"DIBS!" he shouted, jumping into the bunk closest to the air conditioner.

"NO FAIR!" Joe whined, tossing his stuff on the next closest bed, "I WASN'T READY!"

The other boys quickly joined the quarrel, arguing about who got which bunk. The girls stood and watched for a few seconds before deciding to check out their own bus.

"Sometimes I wonder if those guys have lost their sanity altogether," Jaime grinned, rolling her eyes.

"Jaime," Julia smirked playfully, "How many times do I have to tell you? You can't lose what you never had."

"ZING!" Meredith laughed, along with everyone else.

"Yeah, I can't believe they would do something as immature as calling DIBS!" Lauren shouted, throwing herself into a bunk. The other girls giggled, but followed the suit, chucking their stuff on to nearby beds and claiming them for the next month.

A few minutes later, the boys appeared outside their tour bus, standing expectantly at the door. Dylan gave a swift knock and quickly backed up a few inches.

"We wish to be granted permission to cross the threshold of your home Lady Meredith," he said snootily as Meredith pulled open the door.

"And what is the purpose of this fine visit, Sir Dylan?" she smiled and asked in an equally snooty tone.

"Merely to inspect if this dwelling is suitable."

"And who might these lowly peasants be?" Meredith gestured condescendingly to Joey, Walker, Holden, Brian, and Jim, who had been standing behind Dylan.

"Only my man servants, Lady Meredith. Someone must do the royal laundry…"

"I'd love to give you a royal sock," Holden muttered, "Right in the eye."

"SILENCE, SLAVE!" Dylan commanded, "Or I will lock you up in my dungeon!"

"Oh, no! Not the dungeon!" Holden cried sarcastically, falling to his knees, "Save me from this horrid tyrant Lady Meredith, I beg of you!"

"Very well, peasant," Meredith sniffed.

"Your ladyship's goodness knows no bounds, to take pity on this lowly piece of filth," Dylan remarked, kissing her hand, "Now may we enter your fine place of dwelling?"

"Only if-"

"SHUT UP AND JUST LET THEM IN ALREADY!" Lauren, Julia, and Jaime all shouted exasperatedly from inside the bus.


	4. Rule No 1: No Number Two

**First off, thank you to all of my lovely reviewers! Know that your awesome comments motivated me to finish this ASAP. YOU ARE ALL SUPER-MEGA-FOXY-AWESOME-HOT! If you have any ideas for future chapters, feel free to send them my way. Until next time, hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999**

"JULIAAAAA," Lauren whined from the sofa, "I need to SHIT."

"Then shit, Lauren," Julia replied, not even looking up from her laptop as she continued to type, "Bathroom's right next to you. And keep it down, people are sleeping."

"No, I mean solid shit!" she complained, "Remember? Rule number one is no number two. We have to pull over!"

"Lo, it's practically three in the morning. The only people awake on this bus are you, me, and the bus driver." Lauren climbed over the sofa got right in Julia's face.

"THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, JULES." The girl sighed and quietly shut her laptop.

"Fine," Julia rolled her eyes, standing up from her spot, "I'll go tell the driver, you tell the other girls we're taking a bathroom stop and do it GENTLY if that's at all possible for you..." Once Julia was up front with the driver, Lauren crept from bed to bed shaking them awake, leaving Jaime for last

"Again?" Charlene Kaye groaned, "This is the second time this week!"

"Next time, I'm just smacking you and going back to sleep," Megan Cox threatened.

"I swear, you have the bladder of a freakin' bird," Meredith muttered as she slowly got out of her bunk.

All the while, Jaime, who had already been woken up by Lauren's loud complaints, remained still in her bunk with a clever plan forming in her mind. She had a bone to pick with Lauren, ever since the petite girl had stolen one of her sneakers at the last show. Jaime, who was not fond of performing in only one shoe, was out for revenge and knew just how to get it. When Lauren approached her bed, she laid there silently and kept her breathing calm and rhythmic.

"WAKE UP JAIME," the girl shouted, "WE'RE TAKING A SHIT STOP!" Right on cue, Jaime jerked awake, pretended to bang her head on the top of the tiny bunk, and crumpled back on to the bed, not moving an inch.

"Ha ha," Lauren laughed sarcastically, "Real funny Jaime, now get up, we're stopping to poop." The girl remained still and her eyes stayed shut.

"Come on, Jaime," Megan said nervously, giving the girl a gentle shake, "This isn't funny!"

"Jaime?" Lauren began to whimper, giving her a harder shake, "Jaime, wake up!"

Charlene, who had taken several Red Cross courses, bent over Jaime and checked her pulse.

"Well, she isn't dead, her pulse is still strong," Charlene observed, "She probably just banged her head really hard. She may have one hell of a headache when she wakes up, but she'll be fine."

"Way to go, Lauren," Meredith groaned, burying her face in her hands, "You've succeeded in knocking one of your friends unconscious."

"But I-" Lauren responded meekly, her eyes beginning to fill with tears.

"What's going on back here?" Julia asked warily, appearing next to Megan, "Why is Jaime not moving?"

"We think she hit her head pretty hard, but her pulse is still very strong," Charlene answered, "She should be up in a few minutes, but someone needs to stay and keep an eye on her though..." Just like Charlene, Julia leaned over Jaime to check her pulse.

"I'm fine," Jaime breathed in her ear, "Don't ruin it." Julia's eyes widened, but she gave a nearly imperceptible nod.

"I'll stay," Lauren volunteered, still tearful, "If I hadn't yelled in her-" At this point, Jaime was tempted to jump up and hug Lauren, but then Julia interrupted.

"No, I'll stay" Julia confirmed, seeing the upset expression on her friend's face, "You go take your shit." This caused everyone to look up from Jaime and give a small smile.

"Are you sure you-"

"Lauren, she'll be fine. I promise." The petite girl still looked doubtful, but Meredith put an arm around her shoulder and guided her towards the door. No sooner had the bus door slammed shut, Jaime jumped up from her bunk and sneezed.

"I thought they'd never leave," Jaime sighed with relief, "I've had to sneeze for almost two minutes now..."

"I hope you realize that Lauren looked like she was going to burst into tears," Julia remarked.

"I know," Jaime said guiltily, "I could hear it in her voice, but she has to learn a lesson. She can't just take someone's shoe and get away with it Jules..."

"You do realize that she doesn't play to get even, right? She plays to win."

"This will be worth it, I promise. Just act like you're surprised, and Lauren doesn't have to know you were in on this. Hold on, I think I hear them coming!" Jaime slid back into her bunk, carefully arranging herself in the exact position they had left her in. Julia plopped herself on the end of the bunk just as the four other girls walked through the door.

"How is she?" Meredith asked in a concerned voice, walking over to Jaime's bunk.

"Still out cold," Julia shook her head, "But I thought she stirred a little bit a minute ago..."

"I'll take over from here, Jules," Lauren exhaled slowly. Julia got up off the end of the bed and Lauren gingerly sat down at the head of the mattress.

"This is all my fault," she murmured, feeling her friend's forehead, "If I had just kept my mouth shut..." The small girl fell silent, her gaze not faltering from her supposedly unconscious friend. Jaime sensed the girl's pause and decided to make the final move.

"BOO!" Jaime shouted as she popped into a sitting position.

"BLOODY FUCK!" Lauren screamed, hitting her head on the top of the bunk in shock, "WHAT THE HELL, BEATTY?"

"What can I say, Lo?" Jaime grinned, "I'm not terribly fond of doing a concert Cinderella-style."

"YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK OVER A GODDAMN SHOE?" Lauren screeched. Megan, Charlene, Meredith, and Julia doubled over with laughter, gasping for air.

"Pretty much," Jaime shrugged, "And also the fact that you woke me up at three AM didn't help either."

"You're lucky that I just shit, or else it would be all over your bed right now."

"Come on, Lo. We're even now."

"I don't play to get even, Jaime, I play to WIN. I'll get you back for this. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I WILL have my revenge." Jaime gulped and tried to hide her terror, but like small children, Lauren could smell her fear. She would make good on her promise, there was no doubt about that.

Once everyone had turned their attention away, Megan quickly stowed her video camera back under her pillow for the time being.

"_She should expect to see this on Twitter by tomorrow afternoon," _Megan thought evilly, grinning and snuggling underneath her covers once more.


	5. There's This Thing Called SLEEP

**Just a quick note, I did mean to get this done much sooner and I apologize for the delay. I could lie, but quite honestly I have no good excuse...Basically this was going on in my head:**

**Logical Me: Come on, people are waiting for you to put up a new chapter, get a move on!**

**Crazy Me: But I'm tiiiiirrrreeeeedd, can't we just be Death Eaters?**

**LM: No, we can't just be Death Eaters! *proceeds to kick me and remind me about all my totally awesome reviewers who deserve another chapter because they are the coolest people in the whole wide world***

**Now I sound crazy. Awesome. For those of you who are still hanging around after my spazziness, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please review and feel free to send suggestions for future chapters. Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999**

* * *

"EAT MY DUST!" Joe yelled, leaning over his controller in concentration.

"NOT FOR LONG WALKER!" Holden grinned evilly, quickly gaining speed.

Unlike the girls, all of the guys were wide awake and each engrossed in a different activity. Both of the Brians, Holden and Rosenthal, along with Walker were engaged in a heated game of Mario Kart. Joey lazily watched from the couch, occasionally dozing off. Corey Lubowich was hunched over his laptop, typing rapidly, while Dave, Jim, Tomek, and Dylan sat at the table playing gin rummy. Clark sat at the other end of sofa, rifling through page after page of sheet music, stopping every so often to mutter something to himself before continuing.

It was nearing the end of the race; Walker and Holden were each vying for first, while Brian was stuck in fifth.

"Accelerate is the button on the RIGHT, dumbass," Holden taunted, trash-talking best he could."

"Can it, Holden," Brian growled, not breaking his concentration as he moved into fourth.

"Face it, Rosenthal," Walker smirked, "You couldn't catch up if we jumped out of our karts and ran to the finish line."

"You three have the mental maturity of an eight-year-old," Corey rolled his eyes. Just then, both Joe and Holden both screamed something that would have been censored on TV.

"Except with a much more colorful vocabulary..." Clark mused, looking up from his sheet music. What had happened, was that Brian had suddenly obtained a blue shell and released it immediately on to the track. Predictably, he claimed first once the other two had been knocked back by the explosion.

"KISS MY ASS LOSERS!" he shouted triumphantly, jumping up and doing an obnoxious victory dance. Walker and Holden scowled, throwing down their controllers and slumping back into their seats. Eventually Holden got up from the couch and traipsed over to the refrigerator. Upon opening it with a yank, his eyes scanned the side for the familiar red and blue cans, not finding a single one. Becoming desperate, he began to rummage around the two main shelves, still not finding a thing.

"What the fuck happened to my Red Bull?" he bellowed, his eyes flickering dangerously, "Alright, who's the wiseass who thought it would be a good idea to take my one link to being halfway-sane?" Everyone stayed silent as Holden's eyes narrowed, glaring at each person in turn. Finally, Brian slowly raised his hand and began to shrink back in his seat, trying to appear as small as possible.

"I kind of, drank it," Brian gulped, "I'm sorry?"

"WHAT?" Holden roared. He flew at Brian, grabbing the collar of his shirt with both hands. "DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?"

"Calm down, Holden," Jim warned, making an attempt to pull him off of Brian.

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN," he barked, "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO A SHOW IN A COUPLE OF HOURS WITH NOTHING TO PUT ME IN MY RIGHT MIND?"

"Too late for that," Tomek muttered under his breath, earning a few snickers from Dave and Dylan.

"There's this thing called _sleep,_" Joey offered, "You should try it. I should warn you though, usually it works best if you get more than three hours..."

"BULLSHIT," Holden snarled.

"You know what? Let's just stop and pick up a six pack of Red Bull," Dylan whispered in Corey's ear, "Before he starts to get delusional..."

"Fair enough," Corey sighed. As he promised, Corey asked the bus driver to pull over at the next gas station they passed. Once the bus stopped, everyone piled out.

"What the hell are we doing now?" Holden demanded.

"Don't get your boxers in a twist, we're stopping to get you some Red Bull," Dave rolled his eyes, grabbing his wrist, "Come on." All the guys stumbled into the small service station and made a beeline for various aisles. A few minutes later, there were about a dozen bottles of soda and various packages of snacks piled on the cashier's counter. Dylan, Jim, Walker, Tomek, Dave, Jim, Corey, Clark, and Rosenthal were all gathered near the front door when they heard a loud crash.

"You've got to be kidding," Clark groaned, "Don't tell me-"

"Must be the work of that infamous Hogwarts jaguar," Holden proclaimed from across the store, "Bless his soft, adorable paws that he trips over when he's running too fast!"

"And so the insanity begins," Jim shook his head, making his way to the source of the noise. Lo and behold, Holden had knocked several packages of Oreos off the top of a stack and was now simply standing over it, holding his pack of Red Bull.

"It wasn't me!" he defended himself, "It was-"

"The infamous Hogwarts jaguar, I know," Jim interrupted, "Just go pay for your sanity in a can." Holden nodded and raced towards the register while Jim re-stacked the fallen cookies. Before leaving, he stopped by the cashier to apologize.

"Kid, I've seen plenty of people in here at 3 AM before," the cashier chuckled, "Most of them just as bad, don't sweat it." Jim thanked him and sped out the door to the tour bus. By the time he entered the tour bus again, there was already an empty can on the table. However, instead of being back to his regular self, Holden was sitting on the couch giggling like a little girl.

"Holden?" Jim said warily, "What's the matter with you?"

"Absolutely nothing," Brian mused, "And that's why they call me SUPERMAN."

"He thinks that he's Superman now," Tomek whispered.

"Awesome," Jim murmured, "Just fantastic."

"I mean, jeez, I've seen him DRUNK before and he isn't this bad..." Corey remarked.

"The last time he was this screwed up was when we were still working on Starship and he hadn't slept for-" Joey observed.

"Does anyone know the last time he slept?" Brian asked abruptly, suddenly alarmed.

"He was still awake when I went to sleep at two last night," Clark admitted.

"And he got up a few minutes after I woke up around four," Dave added.

"So he's only had 2 hours of sleep for the past 48 hours?" Dylan marveled, "No wonder he's so fucked up..."

"Well what are we supposed to do now?" Jim questioned, "He can't go on stage like this."

"Try to get him to sleep I guess?" Joey shrugged.

"I'll take care of this," Dylan volunteered, walking over to Holden, "Hey, Superman, why don't you get some shut eye? I'll take care of Metropolis while you're sleeping."

"Don't be silly, Green Lantern," Holden giggled, "Superheroes don't need sleep, you know that!"

"Yeah, I know that," Dylan recovered quickly, "But doesn't Clark Kent need to sleep?"

"We're the same person, you know that," Holden drawled, "I know Lex Luthor told you at golf..." Dylan shook his head and threw his hands up in surrender.

"Now what?" he uttered. Suddenly Walker's eyes lit up and he ran over to his suitcase. Rummaging around in the front pocket, he finally found the object he was looking for and approached his friend once more.

"Hey Batman," Holden grinned goofily, "Where were you at the Solomon Grundy thing last week?

"Oh, you know," Walker replied, "Just hanging out with Robin, playing around with Wonder Woman, cleaning up the streets of Gotham, just the usual stuff. Oh, I also got you a present..."

"What kind of present?" Holden asked eagerly.

"Just a little piece of home," Walker answered, pulling the metallic green ball of tinsel from behind his back, "Some Kryptonite."

"Fuck you!" Holden screeched, beginning to slow down, "You know that stuff, makes, me..." He trailed off and soon was fast asleep on the sofa.

"I was planning on using this to play a prank on him later," Walker explained, "But I think this was a better use for it."

"I wouldn't count that idea out just yet," Dave smirked, "I doubt he's remember any of this in the morning..." Everyone snorted quietly and most retreated to their bunks. Once Jim was sure Holden was out for the count, he leaned over to Corey.

"Did you get all that?" Jim whispered.

"Every last part," Corey smiled, tucking away his video camera, "This will make one hell of a behind the scenes video..."

* * *

**A/N: Boy, those Starkids really enjoy their blackmail don't they?**


	6. Lost in Louisiana

**Again, I apologize for this taking so long. I meant to finish it much sooner, but I had songs, dances, and blocking to memorize for theatre camp (Evil Stepmother, Belle, and Conrad Birdie fangirl, what now?) But all that matters is that it's up now, better late than never right? Another thank you to my fabulous reviewers and everyone who is either following me or this story! I've already finished the next chapter and will post when I see fit (Mwhahahahahahaha!) So until next time, hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999.**

* * *

"Really, Joey? REALLY?" Julia groaned from the passenger seat, "I can't believe you got us lost _again_!"

"We are not lost!" Joey scowled, gripping the steering wheel of the rental car.

"This is the fourth goddamn time we've passed that teal building! WE. ARE. LOST." she exclaimed.

The Starkids had arrived in New Orleans early that morning and were all groaning for coffee and food. Even Jaime, who was the dictionary definition of a morning person, lacked her sunny disposition. Julia and Joey, normally the peacemakers of the group, had volunteered to make a breakfast run and were now aimlessly driving through the city, thanks to Joey's less-than-stellar navigation.

"Nuh-uh!" he argued, "And for your information, we've only passed it three times, _Julia..._"

"And we're about to make it a fourth! Why did I even let you drive in the first place?"

"Maybe because you were too tired to string together two sentences?"

"It's not my fault Jaime faked a concussion and nearly gave me a heart attack at three o' clock this morning!" Joey cocked his head with a look that clearly expressed both alarm and confusion. Julia rolled her eyes and sighed. "Long story."

"Oh yeah? Well, you didn't have to deal with Holden thinking he was Superman due to Red Bull withdrawal, now did you?" Julia's face mirrored the same bewildered expression that Joey had worn only seconds before. "Don't even ask."

"Fair enough," Julia agreed, pulling out a map, "But let's see if we can find that coffee shop, Jim looked like he was two seconds from keeling over when we left."

"And Walker still managed to find the strength to make a snide comment," Joey snickered, "However, it does pose a good question. If Jim fell in a forest, would he make a sound?"

"And if he does, do you yell 'TIMBER'? Or do you yell 'RUMBLEROAR'?" Julia added solemnly before both of them burst into a fit of immature giggles.

"Lame jokes are always so much more entertaining when you're sleep deprived," Joey mused, "But let's get breakfast before I pass out..."

"It's too bad Tyler isn't here, he could FIND it for sure."

"Hufflepuff puns, really? Come on Jules, I thought those were beneath you."

"I can't help it. When I don't have caffeine, my sanity flies out the back window."

"Hate to break this to you, but your sanity flew out the back window a long time ago." Julia gave Joey a scowl and playfully smacked him on the shoulder.

"Oh yeah? At least I didn't get us lost!"

"I'm telling you, we aren't lost! I just, um, am not one hundred percent positive of our exact location, right now."

"Admit it, Joey, we're lost." Finally, the boy hung his head in defeat and mumbled something very quietly.

"Fine, we are lost," he murmured almost inaudibly.

"I'm sorry. What was that?" Julia smirked, "I didn't hear you..."

"We're lost."

"Sorry, one more time?" Joey glared at her and Julia simply returned it with an innocent smile.

"WE. ARE. LOST. Happy now?"

"Now that you mention it, yes. Let's park here, the map says we should be getting close..." Joey was still sulking, but obeyed, pulling into the nearest open space. The two friends got out of the car and set off down the sidewalk. At first they walked in silence, but it was soon broken by Julia.

"I know I said I wouldn't ask," she questioned, "But, why exactly did Holden think he was Superman?"

"Well, he was playing Mario Kart with Brian and Walker at 3 AM. He lost the race to Brian and went over to the fridge to drown his sorrows in Red Bull, when lo and behold, Brian had drank the last can." Joey chuckled, "As you might imagine, there was much yelling and threatening before we pulled over at a gas station to get more. Next thing we know, Holden is knocking things over and yammering on about the infamous Hogwarts jaguar. Once we get back in the tour bus, he drinks his Red Bull and gets even more insane."

"How is that possible?" Julia remarked, "Usually that puts him in his right mind for at least an hour or two..."

"We found out he had only gotten two hours of sleep in the past two days," Joey shrugged, "Finally, Joe pretended to be Batman and pulled out some Kryptonite to 'knock him out.'"

"And he _actually _bought it?" Julia snorted.

"Apparently so," Joey mused, "Walker still had that little ball of tinsel with him."

"The one he used to scrape up Holden's nose?"

"The very same. Now, tell me about Jaime's so called 'concussion' this morning..."

"Basically, Lauren had to shit this morning and the only people awake were the bus driver and me. So, she made us wake everyone and pull over."

"Couldn't she have just used to bathroom on the bus?"

"No, she had to _solid _shit, Joey. Remember, no number two? So Lauren was going around the bus waking everyone up. What she didn't know was that Jaime was already wide awake, plotting against her." Joey gave her a confused look, mixed with surprise.

"Jaime, plotting?" he asked.

"She wasn't too happy when she had to do a concert in only one shoe last week." Julia explained, "Jaime was out for revenge."

"I see," Joey nodded, "Carry on."

"Basically when Lauren screamed in her ear to wake her, Jaime pretended to bang her head on the top of the bunk and fall back unconscious. Then everybody started freaking out, especially Lauren. I leaned over her to check her pulse, then she whispered in my ear and nearly gave me a heart attack. I agreed to help and lied to cover for her. Once everyone had come back from the bathroom, Lauren volunteered to take over watching her. Once the time was right, Jaime popped up and scared the living shit out of her-"

"I'm impressed, not just anyone can take Lauren by surprise..."

"Apparently that's what Lo thought too, she ended screaming and banging her head on the bunk, for real. As you might imagine, she was pretty pissed off."

"Sounds like Jaime is walking on thin ice."

"Over a pool of sharks is more like it. Lauren's exact words were 'I'll get you back for this. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I WILL have my revenge.'" Julia gave a small shudder, remembering the exact expression the petite girl's face.

"If I were her, I'd be halfway to New Zealand by now."

"Same here, the look on her face was downright murderous." The pair stopped abruptly on a street corner. During their interesting conversation, the two had lost track of where they were going and were now unsure of where they were. Julia pulled out the map once more and suggested that they walk a few blocks. After a few minutes, Julia stopped short, causing Joey to run straight into her.

"I know exactly where we are now," Julia exclaimed, "We're in the French Quarter!"

"And how is this going to help us get breakfast any faster?" Joey mumbled, feeling his stomach growl again. Except Julia wasn't listening, she had already stopped someone walking down the street.

"Excuse me," she asked the man politely, "Can you tell us how to get to Café du Monde?"

"Y'all aren't from around here, are you?" he chuckled light-heartedly, "You walk one more block and take a left, you can't miss it."

"Thank you," Julia smiled, grabbing Joey by the wrist, "Come on!"

"Why do people always ask us that?" he complained, "Do we have it tattooed on our forehead or something?"

"Just drop it, we're going to get beignets."

"What are beignets?" Julia stopped short and stared at him.

"You're joking, you haven't tried a beignet? You haven't lived until you've tried one!"

"I thought that was a suicide?"

"That's a completely different story. A beignet is in a category all it's own! The only question is, how many dozen should we order? Lauren will probably eat about five all by herself..."

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**A/N: For those of you who don't know, a suicide is when you mix all the sodas in a machine together. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, please review!**


	7. Breredith

**Hello again, people of fanfiction! As promised, I present to you the next chapter. I know several of you have asked me to up the amount of Breredith in my writing, this chapter is for you. Personally, I don't ship the Starkids, but since my reviewers are so super wonderful to me, I thought I'd give it a whirl just for you guys. This chapter is a bit more serious than past chapters, but is still very comedic. I'd LOVE to get some more reviews *cough* hint *cough* Even if it's just to tell me how my writing is faring (better, worse, staying just about the same?) Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999**

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"Shit," Meredith muttered, slumping down in her seat in an attempt to appear invisible. The Starkids had just ordered their dinner and had been laughing, talking, and joking around before Meredith spotted two people she had hoped to never lay eyes on again. The only person who took notice of her sudden mood swing was Holden, who had been sitting on her direct right.

"What is it, Mere?" he asked cautiously, "Is your stomach upset? Oh god, please don't tell me it's that time of the month, I don't think I can handle that-"

"Chill, Brian," she rolled her eyes, "That was last week."

"So that's why you threw a shoe at my head..." Holden said thoughtfully, "But if it's not that, then what is it? Meredith shifted uncomfortably in her seat so that her back faced the rest of the restaurant. She motioned for him to lean in closer and he obeyed.

"You see the tall guy in the back corner?" she asked, giving a small nod in the direction she was referring to, "The one with the blonde?" Holden looked over Meredith's left shoulder and immediately spotted the two.

"Ex-boyfriend?" he guessed.

"Worse," Meredith admitted, giving a small shudder, "Ex-bully, or should I say , ex-_bullies._ The girl is Tiffany Kato; captain of the cheer team in high school and world-class bitch. Rumor has it that she hooked up with the entire basketball team in less than a week."

"Why is it that all sluts are named Tiffany?" Brian remarked, having brief flashbacks of a certain production.

"Beats me," Meredith shook her head, "But the guy? Theo Martinez, also known as the asshole who made my life a living hell for four years. He called me all the usual stuff; nerd, ugly, freak of nature, theater geek, every goddamn day of high school."

"What a di-" Brian started, his eyes narrowing and his fists beginning to clench under the table. Due to his big brother instincts, Holden was fighting the urge to jump out of the booth and make him sorry he ever insulted Meredith; which would involve two black eyes and most likely a bloody nose, broken or otherwise. Before he could follow through, the aforementioned bully interrupted his train of thought.

"Hey, Meredith, is that you?" Theo called from across the restaurant, making his way over to her, "It's me, Theo Martinez. From high school?"

"Fuck," she cursed quietly, racking her brain until an idea struck her, "Brian, can you pretend to be my boyfriend for two minutes?" Holden looked back over at Theo, then into Meredith's pleading eyes.

"Okay, fi-" Before he could finish, Meredith had pressed herself up against him and began kiss him vigorously as Theo approached. All the Starkids looked on in shock, trying to process why their two friends were making out all of a sudden. Only when Tiffany and Theo were right in front of the table did Meredith pull away from Brian. Much to her pleasure, Theo's jaw dropped ever so slightly when she turned around.

"Hey, Theo," Meredith said sweetly, "I didn't see you there. Long time, no see right?"

"No kidding," Theo mumbled, still taken aback, "Wow, you look, great..." This earned Meredith a jealous glare from Tiffany, but she merely returned it with a charming smile.

"Um, not to be rude, " Jaime piped up from the back of the booth, "But who is he?"

"Oh, where are my manners?" Meredith apologized quickly, "Theo, these are my friends from U of M; more commonly known as Team Starkid. Everyone, this is Theo and Tiffany, we, ahem, went to high school together..."

"No way," Theo exclaimed, "You're Team Starkid? You guys were the stuff of legend in theater department over at UCLA!"

"Yes," Julia nodded curtly, sensing Meredith's resentment towards the two.

"We're actually in the middle of our _second_ national tour, now that we've finished our _fifth _full length musical," Lauren added, putting extra emphasis on 'second' and 'fifth.'

"Sounds like you guys are really making a name for yourselves," Theo congratulated them, taking a sudden interest in the floor.

"What are you doing right now, Theo?" Dylan asked innocently.

"Oh, you know," he mumbled, "A few part-time jobs here and there, trying to make ends meet."

"Don't worry about it," Holden tried to assure him, "I've been there, things will work out eventually."

"And who is this strapping young man?" Tiffany asked in a sickly sweet tone, gesturing towards Holden, "By the looks of it, the two of you are more than friends."

"Oh, this is Brian," Meredith replied, throwing a very girlish giggle into her voice, "He's been my boyfriend for almost a year now." The Starkids gave her mixed looks of horror and disgust until she gave an almost imperceptible wink that told them otherwise.

"How sweet," Tiffany cooed, latching on to Theo's arm.

"Congrats, man," Theo shook Holden's hand, "Looks like you've got yourself quite a catch."

"You...too," Brian answered slowly, taking in Tiffany's overly bleached hair and ridiculously short skirt. He averted his eyes back to Meredith, who's dark brown tendrils fell in natural curls and was wearing shorts of a _sensible _length. His expression softened, meeting her warm, chocolate-colored eyes. "But you're right, I couldn't ask for more in a girl. Meredith's smart, funny, talented, and beautiful, not to mention an incredible kisser. I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I must being doing something right." Meredith felt the color rise in her cheeks, Brian wasn't one to compliment very easily, even if he was acting.

"Come on, Theo," Tiffany pouted, "We should go."

The ex-cheerleader was clearly put out by the fact that her former punching bag was now a perfect ten. Meredith had outgrown her ugly duckling phase and had tons of friends, a secure job with fame attached, and a cute boyfriend to boot. Theo reluctantly followed her out and when he looked back, Meredith was fiercely kissing Brian again. He felt a twinge of remorse in his chest, or was it jealousy?

Once they were positive Tiffany and Theo had left, the Brian and Meredith immediately pulled away.

"I said you could pretend we were in a relationship, I never said you could shove your tongue in my mouth uninvited!" Holden complained, pretended to wipe his tongue, "Now I'll have Meredith germs in there for the next week!"

"Hey, you think I wanted to put my tongue your mouth? You weren't my first choice either. Given the opportunity, I probably would have asked Walker instead..."

"WHAT?" Joe and Holden exclaimed.

"It's nothing personal, Brian, it's just that Walker has bigger muscles than you."

"I take offense to that," Holden pouted as Joe smirked at him from the other side of the table.

"I'm just yanking your chain guys, you know that." Meredith sighed, "But really Brian, thanks for helping me out, I really appreciate it."

"Hey, a family's got to watch out for each other right? No one is allowed to harass you except us." Holden grinned right back, but then became more serious, "But I did mean that, when I said I didn't know what I did to deserve someone like you, speaking in the friendship sense. I don't know what I did to deserve all of you, really."

"Awwwwww..." the Starkids chorused.

"We love you too, Holden," Rosenthal replied, giving him an incredibly bromantic hug.

"I bet you also meant it when you were naming off my fabulous qualities," Meredith raised an eyebrow, "Right?"

"Well, four out of five," Holden said solemnly, "You are pretty intelligent, somewhat funny, remotely talented, and reasonably attractive. But to be quite frank with you, you're a terrible kisser."

"That's a lie!" Meredith laughed, giving him another shove, "You know that you enjoyed it..."

"Whatever you say, babe," Holden smirked, giving her a cheeky wink.

"Call me babe one more time and I'll strangle you."

"Okay...babe..."

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**TROOOOOLLLLLLLL! ON FANFICTION! THOUGHT YOU OUGHT TO KNOW! I know what you're thinking, 'How dare she!' But seriously guys, you all were just ASKING for it. I thought I'd take a leaf out of the Starkids' book, particularly Brolden and Jaime Lyn, the trolling masters. So, hopefully you guys aren't _too _mad at me and still want to review? Even if it's just to scold me for being such a tease? Pretty please?**


	8. Some Things Never Change

**Hello again! School started three weeks ago (ack!) so this took longer to write than I expected. Not sure when I'll get to update again, but I'll do it as soon as I can, wizard's honor. To those who got the hint of reviewing, I thank you. I like you, because you are nice to me *eskimo kisses all around* Again, any reviews concerning my writing are helpful. Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999. **

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"Julia, what are we doing?" Rosenthal complained, "I was in the middle of eating and you _know _I can't do a show on an empty stomach!"

Currently, Julia was leading Rosenthal, Holden, Lauren, Meredith, Dylan, Walker, Jaime, Joey, and Jim through the dark concert hall. A few minutes earlier, Julia had abruptly interrupted dinner and asked, actually, commanded was probably a better word, that everyone to follow her. No one was really in the mood to argue with their director, they all followed. The group was smaller than usual; it seemed that Charlene, Tomek, Megan, Dave, and Clark had mysteriously disappeared around lunchtime.

Julia, who hadn't said a word the entire time, made a swift right and opened a bright blue door. She gestured for the Starkids to go ahead and descend the staircase into the building's basement.

"Jules, are you trying to kidnap us?" Meredith asked solemnly, "Because if you are, you should know that Jim volunteered to sacrifice himself if anything like this ever happened."

"HEY!" Jim protested, his voice echoing through the theater, "I never said anything like that!"

"Knock it off you two," Julia laughed, shaking her head, "And no, Meredith, I'm not planning on kidnapping you anytime soon. That is, unless you piss me off, which is always a possibility. That's when you should be afraid." She gestured again for the group to head downstairs.

"Mommy told me never to go into dark basements," Walker added in the highest voice he could muster, earning a sharp elbow in the side from Lauren, "Especially with dangerous people."

"But, we're you're friends, Walker," Joey pouted, putting on an offended air.

"Exactly my point, you're a danger to yourselves and others," Walker snorted, "I love all of you, really, but you're all headcases, completely and irreversibly insane."

"Tell us something we don't know," Jaime beamed, quite proud of the title.

"How do you think we feel?" Dylan retorted gleefully, "Do you know what it's like to say, 'Hey Mom, Joe is coming over for dinner, you know, the one who performed an entire monologue about getting his balls cut off?'" Just as Walker was about to open his mouth to make another remark, Julia cut him off.

"You two can insult each other later," she said exasperatedly, "You know what? The band set up some new equipment down here and they wanted it to be a surprise, happy now?"

"Very much, but don't worry. We'll act surprised," Lauren smirked, bounding down the stairs two at a time. Soon after, everyone else followed the petite girl, leaving Julia at the top of the stairs. With a sly smile, she closed the door behind her and flicked off the dim bulb, which was the only source of light. Julia heard a series of crashes that came from the darkness below.

"Get OFF me Jim!" Julia heard Holden groan, "You're crushing me!"

"You think I'm comfortable?" Jim grunted, "You have the boniest body of any male I have ever met!"

"Try having Lauren on top of you," Meredith remarked irritably, "She's got to have the boniest butt in history."

"Oh yeah? Well you-" Lauren started before Dylan interrupted.

"Did you guys just hear something?" he whispered warily.

"Yeah, my stomach," Rosenthal mumbled.

"No, I thought I heard someone move," Dylan answered, "Clark? Tomek? Dave? You guys down here?

"Charlene? Megan?" Jaime called, "Where are you?"

"There's something funny going on here," Joey said suspiciously, groping the wall for a light switch. Suddenly, the room was bathed in light, temporarily blinding the tangle of friends on the cold floor.

"SURPRISE!" a familiar group of people yelled happily, all grinning in a self-satisfied way. Devin Lytle, Nick Strauss, Lily Marks, Britney Coleman, Joe Moses, Nick and Matt Lang, AJ Holmes, Ali Gordon, Brant Cox, Denise Donovan, and Arielle Goldman stood in the center of the room, trying to suppress chuckles at the hilarious sight before them. Around them hung posters of all the past shows, several balloons and at least two dozen streamers hanging at strange angles. As usual, Lauren was the first to speak up.

"OMIGOD!" she squealed, practically bouncing with excitement, "I don't believe it, how are you all here?"

"I said that we should have traveled by montage," Brant announced earnestly, "But no one went for it..." Everyone laughed, and launched into joyful reunions; most of which involved hugging, laughing, and embarrassing memories from college. However, probably the most entertaining of them all was Walker after he spotted the Lang brothers towards the back.

"MATT! NICK!" Joe bellowed happily, barreling towards them before knocking both of them to the floor.

"Easy boy," Matt sighed, trying to wriggle out from underneath their muscular friend, "Heel!"

"You'd think we'd dropped off the face of the Earth," Nick rolled his eyes, still trapped. After this amusing display of brotherly affection, the group split off into smaller groups. Britney, Dylan, Brant, and Meredith got into an in depth conversation about the remake of "The Hobbit." Denise and Lauren began to chat animatedly about the past week's Glow* posts

"Can you believe some of these girls?" Denise smiled broadly, "They're insanely smart!"

"I know," Lauren laughed, "Maybe they should take over from now on, some of them know more than I could ever hope to." Meanwhile, Ali had reunited with Brian and the two were strolling down memory lane.

"It's been forever since I've actually seen you in person, Holden," Ali commented.

"You're telling me, the last time we saw each other was at your graduation over a year ago!" Holden exclaimed, but then became serious, "We have a very special relationship that very few people could even hope to understand."

"Precisely," Ali deadpanned, "You are the best vagina I ever had."

"Sing it sister," Brian quoted in his highest falsetto, before the two broke into fits of hysterical snickers.

"So how'd your run of Young Frankenstein go, AJ?" Rosenthal asked.

"Yeah, how does it feel to be in a legitimate production as opposed to playing piano for parody musicals in U of M's basement?" Moses joked.

"Don't tell my cast mates this, but not nearly as much fun," AJ grinned, "Would you believe that the professionals _don't _believe in waiting until the last minute?"

"You mean, they _don't _learn songs two days before they open?" Rosenthal gasped.

"I know, the horror!" AJ said with mock terror.

"Speaking of waiting until the last minute," Moses drawled uncertainly, "You know how I have my own one man show, right? Um, I was kind of wondering if maybe next season you guys wanted to hop aboard the JMOMS team! You know, be guest stars or something like that, all the other Starkids are invited too, of course."

"Please tell me it won't be like the time you made fun of me because I shit my pants as a kid," Rosenthal frowned.

"I'll try to refrain from teasing you about your inept bodily functions," Moses proclaimed, "But I make no promises."

"I guess that's the best answer I'll get," he sighed, shrugging, "I guess I'm in."

"Me too," AJ volunteered, "It'll keep me off the streets until I can find another gig."

"YES!" Joe clapped giddily, "Okay, so I'm thinking that we could do a parody of Glee, just for Darren..."Across the room, Julia was recounting the tales of the past week to Lily and Devin.

"Jaime did WHAT?" Lily raised her eyebrows.

"She managed to scare the living shit out of Lauren," Julia replied.

"And Lauren is okay with this?" Devin questioned, glancing in Lauren's direction.

"Not in the slightest," Julia grinned, shaking her head, "She vowed revenge, I doubt Jaime has slept well for the past few nights."

"You have to swear you'll tell us all about when this happens?"

"Cross my heart, that is, if I'm around to watch. Knowing Lauren, she'll make sure her target is completely isolated."

"You make her sound like a ruthless assassin," Lily remarked.

"When it comes to her pride," Julia said in a hushed tone, "She is." A few feet away Joey and Jeff were engaged in a relatively serious conversation.

"So, I hear that you've been playing Sweet Tooth," Jeff said casually, eyeballing Joey inquisitively.

"Yeah, I have actually," Joey replied in an equally nonchalant tone. Jeff decided to take the first jab, teasing him playfully.

"Bet you can't do it as well as I can," he goaded Joey.

"Oh yeah?" Joey sneered lightheartedly, "Is that a challenge?"

"Maybe it is and maybe it isn't," Jeff shrugged, "Either way, you just aren't meant to play villains. Me, on the other hand..." He threw back his head and gave a sinister cackle that reverberated off the walls.

"Just because I've never been cast as the bad guy before doesn't mean I can't be the bad guy," Joey said indignantly and let loose a maniacal laugh of his own. Now nearly the entire room turned to look at the two suspiciously. The two stared right back, waiting for everyone to lose interest before they spoke again

"Not bad young grasshopper," Jeff grinned teasingly, giving Joey a hard pat on the back, "I'm just messing with you though, I'm sure that you're a great ST."

"So Strauss, what's this I hear about Tyler not being able to make it to our show?" Jim asked.

"Oh, he's going to be an even bigger hit with the ladies now," Strauss rolled his eyes, grinning broadly, "He booked a _Colgate _commercial."

"Well, we all knew this day was coming sooner or later," Jim chuckled, "Did I ever tell you about the time Tyler nearly blinded me with his teeth?" Jaime and Arielle had taken their conversation to the corner of the room

"So," Arielle grinned mischievously, "What's this I hear about you and Joey on SPACE tour?"

"It was a _stage kiss_," Jaime rolled her eyes, "We did that for _every show_." Even after hearing her tone of voice Arielle continued to tease her.

"You two just couldn't keep you hands off each other," the small girl taunted gleefully, "I can't leave you alone for a minute, can I?"

"Just because you're the baby of the group, doesn't mean you won't be punished for saying things like that," Jaime threatened playfully.

"JAIME LIKES JOOOOEEEEEYY! JAIME LIKES JOOOOEEEEEYY!" Arielle yelled loudly, slipping out from underneath Jaime's arms.

"YOU GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE POOF!" Jaime shouted and began to chase her around the room, while the other Starkids looked on with delight. It was good to know that some things never change.

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**A/N: Do not fear Darren fans! DCriss WILL make an appearance before this story is finished, I promise. Also, I know that I've been putting off writing Lauren's revenge. I still have some ideas rolling around in my head, it has to be extremely devious because it IS Lauren, but not TOO terrible, so they can laugh about it later. I just don't want to let all of you down because you are totally awesome!**


	9. Revenge: Part 1

**Here it is at last! My loyal and totally awesome readers, I present to you, Lauren's Revenge, Part 1. Due to my over-active imagination, this chapter will be presented in two parts. A shout out to azebra117 for giving me a great idea to elaborate on, thank you so much! As always, read and review. Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer 4999.**

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_"What to do, what to do..." _Lauren thought impatiently, tapping her fingers on the table restlessly. Her brown eyes flicked over to Jaime Lyn, who was listening intently to Julia and Clark explain certain arrangements being made for Darren's guest appearance. For the past thirty minutes, the petite girl had been racking her brain to plot her revenge, but she hadn't come up with anything even worth mentioning.

_"Damn you Jaime, how am I supposed to one-up you now?" _she nearly shouted in frustration, _"I don't care if we're 'even,' I refuse to let you get the better of me!" _Just when it seemed she was about to give up, a small light bulb went off in Lauren's head.

"THAT'S IT!" she shouted, causing Jaime, Meredith, Holden, Joey, and surprisingly, Jim, to jump three feet in the air in surprise.

"What is it now, Lo?" Walker asked, interested to know what caused the sudden outburst.

"Veritaserum is just code for vodka!," Lauren lied quickly, faking giddiness at her discovery, "Think about it; they're both clear, odorless liquids that make people tell the truth! It all makes sense to me now."

_"_Bloody hell," Joey commented with fascination, "You're right Drahco Milloy..."

While everyone else seemed transfixed on the sudden idea, Julia and Clark were rather annoyed.

"Have you been listening to a word Clark and I have said this entire time?" Julia groaned exasperatedly.

"Nope, not really," Lauren answered cheekily.

"What do you expect to do when Darren gets here?" Clark responded in an no-nonsense tone.

"I'll figure something out," she shrugged. The gears in her head continued to turn as a plan pieced itself together, bit by bit.

_"Yes, I do believe Miss Beatty will regret ever trying to mess with Lauren Lopez. She'll have to learn the hard way that if you play with fire, you're going to get burned..." _the girl mused, an evil grin spreading across her face.

Later that day, Lauren approached Julia, who was working on her laptop as usual.

"Jules, have I told you lately just how much I admire and adore you?" the petite girl singsonged.

"What do you want, Lopez?" Julia sighed, not bothering to even look up from her work.

"What makes you think that I want something?" Lauren pouted, "What if I just wanted to tell my bestest friend in the entire world how much I love her?" Julia raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced by the excuse. "Fine, I want you to help me get revenge on Jaime, preferably tomorrow."

"What makes you think I'm going to drop everything and help you with a prank?"

"So, that's a no?"

"Mm-hm."

"Not interested?"

"Nope."

"Okay then."

"Not even a little bit interested."

"Alright."

"I'm not going to help you, no matter how much you beg me."

"I understand."

"...You know I'm going, don't you?"

"Yup."

"I hate you."

"I know."

The next day, due to lack of shows, the Starkids were lounging around in their tour buses and getting absolutely nothing done. Around noon, Meredith, Megan, and Charlene went to play Beatles Rock Band with the guys. Even though Charlene always kicked everyone's ass on the guitar, they still seemed to have a good time singing as loudly as they possible could.

Lauren eventually sauntered over to Jaime and plopped down on the sofa next to her.

"I'm bored," she said lightly, keeping her tone even, "Let's go somewhere, I know a great place downtown...Jules?"

"I'm game," Julia replied, shutting her book, "You coming Jaime?"

"I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?" Jaime smiled, her blue eyes twinkling playfully, "As long as I get to drive the rental car, I'll come." When her back was turned, Lauren gave Julia a quick wink and a devilish smile.

Half an hour later, the three girls navigated through downtown LA , which was no small feat, and found the small cafe Lauren had talked about. After a pleasant lunch, she loudly proclaimed a need to use the bathroom and marched straight to the back of the restaurant. She returned within a few minutes, giggling in a very immature way.

"What is it, Lo?" Jaime questioned curiously.

"Someone wrote, _dirty _things inside the stalls..." she snickered, "Go see for yourselves."

"I'll pass," Julia rolled her eyes, "I'd bet five bucks we've heard all of those from the guys or said them ourselves at some point."

"Guess I'll have to verify for you then," Jaime smirked, standing up from the table, "I have to go to the restroom anyways, be back in a minute."

The minute she disappeared, Lauren's innocent smile twisted into a maniacal grin. She thrust her hand into Jaime's now abandoned purse and began to paw around in its depths.

"There weren't any dirty things in the stall, were there?" Julia sighed as she looked on.

"They don't call me an actress for nothing," Lauren winked, extracting two objects and slipping them into her back pocket. She pulled a scrap of paper from her purse and tossed it onto the table before grabbing Julia and dragging her out the door. "Now let's get out of here before she gets back!"

"You're terrible," Julia shook her head. She sincerely hoped Jaime could find a way out of this one.

Not a minute later, Jaime emerged from the back of the cafe. When she returned to the table, Julia and Lauren were nowhere to be found. Frowning slightly, she picked up the slip of paper on the table. Her eyes read over the few words scribbled in familiar handwriting.

_"Sorry to eat and run Jaime, but there's places to go, people to see! Moral of the story? Never, ever, try to cross me. Kisses, Lauren. Oh, PS, I stole your phone and the keys, so good luck trying to follow us."_

Jaime's heart began to beat faster as she urgently fished through her purse. Just as Lauren promised, both the keys and her phone had disappeared; the girl started to panic. She was stuck in downtown Los Angeles with no car, no cell phone, and absolutely no idea where to go. She was stranded.


	10. Revenge: Part 2

**Hello everyone! As usual, getting a new chapter up has taken much longer than intended. I really hope you guys enjoy this one, seeing as I left you hanging for so long. Read and review, but also PM me if you have fresh ideas for future chapters. Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999**

* * *

"Why you little-" Jaime uttered under her breath. She couldn't believe she hadn't seen this coming. Lauren wouldn't rest until she came out in top, but this was a new low, even for her.

"_Well, at least they already paid for lunch,"_ she thought, trying to look on the positive side of things. The girl picked up her purse and made her way to the door. "_I guess I should try to retrace my steps best I can..."_ Racking her brain, she managed to find her way back to the lot where she parked the car earlier. Jaime walked up to the window purposefully and the attendant looked up from his work.

"Sorry to bother you," she said kindly, "But did you see two girls leave here about two minutes ago? One about my height and the other a few inches shorter? They were driving a green rental car."

"You're in luck," he nodded, "They left about a minute ago, although the smaller one seemed to be in a pretty big rush."

"That's them alright," Jaime agreed, "Did you see which way they went?" The attendant furrowed his brow in concentration.

"I'm pretty sure they took a left, but I'm not positive," he replied tentatively.

"That sounds about right," the girl answered, "I think..."

"I wish I could help you more," the attendant said earnestly, "I really do, but I wasn't paying that much attention..."

"No, it's fine, you've already been a big help." Jaime read his name tag a flashed a charming smile, "Thanks, Jon." She turned on her heel and turned left out of the parking lot, praying she would come across something familiar.

On another side of the city, Julia nervously drummed her fingers on the dashboard.

"Lauren, I don't know about this," Julia frowned, looking very worried, "What if Jaime can't find her way to the hotel? What if she gets hurt? What if someone tries to kidnap her or-"

"Breathe, Jules," Lauren sighed, still concentrating on the road, "Just take a chill pill; Jaime's a big girl, a smart one at that. She'll find her way."

"She isn't a dog, she's a person! I mean, it might be okay if Joey or Darren were wandering around by themselves; they've at least been around here before."

"Don't get your panties in a wad," Lauren replied, squinting at a street sign, "If she doesn't get back before dinner, that's when we can start to worry, kay?" Julia still frowned, but gave a curt nod. "Awesome, now can you hand me the map we printed out?"

"What map, Lo?" Julia asked. "You know, the one Jaime put in her purse before we-shit." Lauren realized all at once, proceeding to slam her head on the wheel at the next red light.

Back Jaime's side of things, she stopped in front of a bus map, hoping to figure out where to go. She absentmindedly reached into her purse, only to come out with a folded sheet of printer paper. Jaime's lips spread into a smile as she unfolded the map Lauren printed earlier that afternoon.

"Talk about a stroke of luck," she murmured, smirking ever so slightly. Leave it to Lauren to take everything but the map that would lead her to their hotel for the night.

Looking from the bus route to the map, she finally figured out where she was and carefully traced her path. From the looks of it, there was a bus she could take that would get her pretty close to where she needed to be. A large bus pulled up to the curb and its doors flew open. Quickly checking the bus schedule, she confirmed it was going to the correct location. With a pleasant smile, she scooped exact change from her purse and hopped on board. As soon as the bus started up, her thoughts began to wander.

"_I wonder of Lauren knows I have the map yet,"_ she pondered, gazing out the window, "_I'd sure love to see her face when she finds out..."_

"I. AM. AN. IDIOT." Lauren bellowed, repeatedly hitting her head on the dashboard. After the directions had been discovered missing, the petite girl pulled into a nearby lot in order to complain in peace.

"No arguments there," Julia rolled her eyes, earning a scowl from Lauren.

"So not helping, Julia!"

"...You know, I think this is a prime example of what goes around, comes around."

"Oh, be quiet. We'll find the way back by ourselves. Remember, we still have cell phones, Jaime doesn't."

On the bus, the exhaustion of the past week seemed to have caught up with Jaime. Her head leaned against the window, she began to doze off and was soon fast asleep. Only when there was a loud honking from behind the bus did Jaime jolt awake. She rubbed her eyes sleepily and turned to the person next to her.

"Excuse me, how long until we stop at station six?" she asked.

"Station six? We just passed station eleven, you missed that stop by twenty minutes at least," the woman replied.

"Damnit," Jaime muttered as she sprinted to the front of the bus. "Will you be headed back to station six today?"

"No, I'm sorry m'am, but this is the last bus for the day," the bus driver answered. Jaime felt her stomach drop as she fell back into a seat.

"_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!"_ she cursed herself, _"I just blew my last chance of getting to the hotel before dark."_ She finally got off at station twelve and watched the bus drive away. Looking both right and left, she saw there were labeled TV studios on either side of her.

"_If I had my cell, I would call Darren,"_ she thought dejectedly, _"He would probably know where I am."_

"Lo, why don't you just call someone and ask for directions?" Julia groaned.

"I don't need directions," Lauren scowled, "I know exactly where I'm going."

"Then why does it seem like we're going in circles? I never thought I would meet a worse navigator than Joey, clearly I stand corrected."

"It isn't like that! I just don't know our exact location at this moment."

"That's exactly what Joey said before he got us lost..."

The sun began to sink lower and lower in the sky as an hour, than two hours passed. Jaime continued to wander the abandoned sidewalks, completely and utterly lost. The lack of noise in the suburbs began to unnerve the girl. In order to comfort herself, she began to hum and with time, the humming grew into singing.

_"I look for reasons, but I don't need em'. All I need is to look in your eyes, and I realize..."_ Jaime belted, _"Baby you're not alone, cause you're here with me. And nothing's ever gonna take us down cause nothing can keep me from lovin' you, and you know it's true. It don't matter what'll come to be, our love is all we need, to make it through...Yeah, that's all we need...And nothing, nothing, no, no, no...And you know it's true...It don't matter what'll come to be. You know our love is all we need, to make it, through..."_

She gave a deep sigh and smiled until she heard the sound of someone clapping behind her. Whipping around, her eyes fell on a boy with dark curly hair and a proud smile, his eyes dancing in the fading light.

"Bravo! Encore!" he laughed, still applauding quite loudly.

"DARREN!" Jaime shouted, tackling him in a hug. The two friends toppled to the sidewalk in a giggling heap. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was walking to my car from the studio," he grinned mischievously, "That is, until I heard a fantastic voice that sounded awfully familiar. Sure enough, it was you. I've been following you for almost two blocks now; not that I minded getting to hear Clark's new arrangement in addition to you singing."

"Thanks, Darren, " Jaime smiled, "But just wait till you hear it with everyone else, it sounds incredible!"

"I would expect nothing less," Darren replied, "But, not that I'm not ecstatic to see you, but what are you doing around here this time of night? And by yourself?"

"About that," Jaime rolled her eyes, "To make a long story short; I did something to Lauren to get back at her, she wanted to get back at me, she left while I was going to the bathroom at lunch, stole my keys and phone, and drove off in the rental car. So I tried to find a way back, found a map, took a bus, missed my stop, got off, started to wander around, and here we are."

Darren's face twisted in confusion while he tried to piece together what Jaime just said. Finally, he managed to wrap his head around the situation and simply sighed.

"Well, we didn't call her 'you little shit' for nothing," he commented, offering the crook of his elbow to Jaime, "May I have the pleasure of escorting you to your hotel? I was going to try and surprise everyone, but I guess I could change plans."

"That's the truth, and yes, you most certainly may," Jaime smiled, accepting the gesture and following him back down the street, "And I'm sure we could work something out in terms of a grand entrance..." The pair promptly got into Darren's car and arrived at the hotel twenty minutes later. On entering, Jaime pointed to a chair and handed Darren a newspaper off a table.

"You wait here," she ordered, "I'll take care of the rest, you'll know what to do." Jaime dashed up the stairs and knocked on the door of one of the guys' rooms. Predictably, everyone was hanging out in the same room, chatting, eating, and laughing.

"About time!" Dylan joked, answering the door, "We thought you guys drove to Seattle or something."

"Not quite," Jaime answered pleasantly.

"Where are Lopez and Julia?" Jim asked.

"They aren't back yet?" Jaime said, looking surprised.

"No, we thought they were with you," Rosenthal responded.

"How interesting," Jaime mused, "But anyways, back to the matter at hand. I was walking around downtown LA and I found the most adorable little puppy wandering the street all by himself. He's pretty small, is super energetic, and has got dark, curly hair and these eyes that practically sparkle. The little guy was following me for almost two blocks and, I was wondering if maybe we could, you know, keep him?"

"I don't know, Jaime," Corey piped up, "We can hardly handle ourselves, let alone an animal."

"But, what if he gets hit by a car or, swallowed by a fox or something?" Jaime pouted, fighting a smile.

"Come on, Corey," Joey begged, "Can't we at least take a look at him?" Everyone looked at Corey pleadingly, until finally he threw his arms up in defeat.

"Fine," he sighed, "We can take a look at him..."

Within seconds, the entire troupe of young adults stampeded down the stairs and burst into the lobby. Several heads whipped around, looking for any signs of a dog. Jaime simply marched up to the occupied chair and with a smile, tapped the stranger's shoulder. Right on cue, Darren dropped the newspaper and gave a large grin.

"Hey, guys," he said happily.

"DARREN!" everyone shouted in unison, attacking him in the same fashion as Jaime had. At this particular moment, both Julia and Lauren walked in and seemed to be arguing.

"See? I told you I would figure it out!" the petite girl stated.

"Yeah, but it took you hours when it could have taken a few minutes," Julia retorted, "And we still don't know if Jaime's okay..."

"Oh, I'm just fine," the girl answered, stepping out from behind the crowd and looking very smug, "Thanks for your concern."

"You? But how did you- I mean, what?" Lauren spluttered.

"Some help from an old friend," Jaime replied, gesturing to Darren, who had now emerged from the dog pile, "Karma's a bitch, Lo." There was a cold stare between the two girls for barely a second before they both burst into a fit of laughter.

"Damn right it is," Lauren agreed. They failed to notice the entire group had been watching this last exchange, and were all looking dumbfounded.

"Does any one of you want to tell us what the hell is going on?" Holden asked, looking very befuddled.

"It's a long story," Jaime laughed.


	11. Remember When?: Part 1

**Have all of you figured out that I'm a compulsive procrastinator? Good, because this was meant to finished at the beginning of winter break, it is now the last day of winter break. This chapter will also be presented in two parts, as well as something new. I've decided to include several flashbacks in this chapter; it's a new idea, so just bear with me. To make things easy, present is in regular print and flashback is in italics. Does everyone understand? Good, because if you don't, I really don't know what to tell you. Read, review, and enjoy! Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999**

* * *

"I can't believe I screwed up the words to the song tonight," Holden moaned, "It's not like we've been singing them every night for weeks or anything…"

"Trust me, Brian," Jaime shook her head, smiling, "With our track record of mishaps, it's definitely not the worst thing that could have happened."

"Yeah," Jim added, chuckling slightly, "You could have thrown something out into the audience and hit someone in the face, like Jeff during HMB."

"He will never hear the end of that one, will he?" Dylan asked.

"Nope," Meredith grinned, "Definitely not."

"Or your shoe could have flown off," Lauren teased, giving Walker a playful shove.

"Come on, that could have happened to anyone!" Joe protested, shoving her back.

"Yes, but it still happened to you," Rosenthal smirked.

"There is one certain story that I know I'll never forget," Darren said wistfully, "Remember? Joey, you know the one I'm talking about, right?"

"You bet I do," Joey laughed, the memory coming back to him.

"Ooooooohh, can I tell it?" Meredith asked keenly, "I know that I wasn't in the show but I've heard this story so many times, and I was there for more than you think I was…"

"I remember," Julia smiled knowingly, "We hung out and talked that night. Go ahead, enlighten us Mere."

"Well, from what I remember, I came backstage to visit while the show was going on, because I had already come to see it on opening night…"

* * *

_"Would you be willing to help me out with a little prank?" Meredith asked. Moses gave an evil grin and made a swooping bow, his black cloak swishing behind him._

_"But of course..." he replied in his finest Snape voice._

_A few minutes later, Meredith was hiding behind a costume rack and pulling on a black cloak over her clothing. She set the helmet- like contraption on her head and adjusted the black cloth so it covered her face._

_A few minutes prior, Moses had let Devin in on the plan and asked her to let Meredith borrow her dementor costume. She agreed and managed to make herself scarce while Meredith put on the costume. Passing a mirror, she caught glimpse of her black shape through the sheer fabric. A small, very mischievous smile crept across her lips as she came closer and closer to the stage door. Suddenly, a new set of voices met Meredith's ears as she turned a corner._

_"Hey Devin, that you?" Tyler's voice came from underneath a black cloak. The girl froze as her mind went blank, what would Devin say?_

_"Why, of course it's me," Meredith answered in Devin's sweet, southern twang, her voice shaking ever so slightly, "Who else would it be?" No sooner had the words left her mouth did Meredith curse herself for being so stupid, Devin wasn't actually Southern! She could only hope that her friend was a method actress. Thankfully, no one seemed to be suspicious and went right on talking._

_"Tyler, was it left, right, spin, ball change or right, left, spin, ball change?" Arielle's voice asked nervously._

_"Wait, I thought it was spin, left, right, ball change," Britney's voice chimed in._

_"No, guys, you're thinking of the choreography we had to change two days ago," Tyler replied knowingly, "Remember? We changed it to right, left, ball change, shimmy..." _

_Meredith said a silent thank you that all Devin had to do in the scene was look creepy and pretend to be sucking out Darren's soul, instead of trying to keep up with Tyler and Britney's dancing. As if she was reading her thoughts, the dark figure next to her put a hand on her shoulder and laughed._

_"Good thing you and I don't have to worry about that kind of stuff," Julia's voice commented, "Especially since I'm uncoordinated and a terrible dancer."_

_"Don't say that, Julia," Meredith shook her head, still speaking in Devin's southern drawl, "You keep up during the group numbers just fine."_

_"After making Britney go over it ten times," Julia chuckled, "I'll just say that I won't be getting any dance solos anytime soon..."_

_"Shit, it's almost time to go!" Tyler exclaimed as Dylan shot past them and through the stage door. The lead dancers followed the boy to the stage, sprinting as fast as they could. Only Julia and Meredith remained on stage left, having watched Lily and Corey duck off to stage right. Right before the two made their entrance, Julia gave the girl's hand a quick squeeze._

_"Break a leg, Meredith," she whispered._

_"How did you-" Meredith started to ask before she was cut off._

_"Call it a sixth sense," Julia shrugged, but Meredith could almost see the smirk growing on her face from under the costume. _

_Before she knew it, she was dragged on to the stage and was looking down at Darren, his glasses askew and his eyes shut tight. She carefully slid in between everyone else, trying to conceal herself as much as possible. Meredith leaned in towards Darren, close enough to hear him breathe. With an evil smirk of her own, she went in for the kill and licked his ear, full on puppy dog style. _

_The girl saw his face contort in disgust, fighting to hold character, the rest of him itching to jump up and see who it was. However, the boy didn't move and didn't even open his eyes._

_"Mission complete," she thought mischievously, slipping back into wings and bolting to Devin's chosen hiding spot, the janitors' supply closet filled with Red Vines._

_"Thanks, Devin," Meredith sighed with relief, handing the costume back over to her._

_"Pleasure was all mine," she smiled, her eyes glinting keenly, "Only thing I'm sorry I missed was Darren's reaction. Speaking of which, what did you do anyway?"_

_"Oh, you'll find out soon enough..." Meredith replied pleasantly, sitting down on the cool floor, "I'm sure of it. Now I suggest you get a move on, people are going to start to wonder where you've disappeared to. But remember, you saw nothing." _

_Nodding, Devin made a swift exit as Meredith stuck her hand into one of the open boxes and pulled out a fresh package of Red Vines. She waited a few minutes, nibbling on the sugary stick of candy until she felt her phone buzz in her sweatshirt pocket._

_"The butterfly is landing on the tulip in t minus 2 min. Repeat; the butterfly is landing on the tulip in t minus 2 min."_

_"Thx. Oh, and Moses? One more thing..."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"We really need to come up with a new code."_

_"...Fair enough. Oh, here comes DC now, and boy, does he look pissed..." _

_"On my way." With that, Meredith slipped the phone back into her pocket and leisurely strolled off in the direction of the stage door. As she drew closer, she heard a very familiar voice echoing off the walls._

_"Alright, who did it?" Darren's voice asked sharply, "And don't bother trying to look all innocent about it."_

_"Who did WHAT, Darren?" Joey responded._

_"Someone LICKED MY EAR and-" Darren went on to say something else, but he seemed to have lost everyone's attention at 'licked my ear.' The entire group was either sniggering behind their hands or had tried to muffle their giggles in someone else's shoulder. "It's not funny!"_

_"Maybe it is, just a little bit," Richard grinned teasingly._

_"Who are we kidding? It isn't funny," Walker said solemnly before cracking a smile, "It's hysterical."_

_"Oh yeah?" Darren retorted, "You looked in a mirror recently?"_

_"Touché," Walker admitted, glancing down at his press-on manicure. Darren turned to the rest of the group, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. _

_"I know it was one of the dementors," he decided, "And not any of the dancers in Stutter. It was one of the four people with a puppet. Whoever uses one, step forward, now."_

_"You heard the man!" Dylan ordered, a cheeky grin spreading across his face, "Puppet dementors, front and center!" _

_There was a short silence, when nobody moved an inch. Meredith dared to poke her head around the corner, having a clear view of Darren's backside and the slightly bemused faces of her friends. _

_"Fine, I'll play detective with you, Darren," Lily said boldly, breaking the silence and stepping out in front of him, "I've got nothing to hide."_

_"I didn't even know that happened before you told us," Devin stated truthfully, taking a spot next to Lily._

_"Wish that I had thought of it first," Corey sighed, "And I wish I knew who did it so that I could congratulate them on a job well done."_

_"The same goes for me," Julia added, following everyone else's suit. Darren's eyes flicked down the row, one by one, trying to mask the look of confusion growing on his face. _

_"Then one of you must be lying..." Darren muttered. He finally made up his mind and stopped in front of Lily. "They say that the liar is always the most willing to talk," he questioned her, "I'm not sure I believe you."_

_"Well that's your problem then," Lily answered, not even flinching, "Because it wasn't me." Darren gave her one last suspicious look before moving down the line to Devin, who was still giggling at the ridiculousness of the interrogation._

_"Ha!" Darren exclaimed, pointing a finger at her, "What's so funny huh? Think you're absolutely hilarious for trying to pull one over on me?"_

_"No, what's so funny to me is the fact that you're taking this whole joke so seriously," Devin snickered, "But I'm still absolutely hilarious, regardless."_

_"Corey?" Darren asked suspiciously, "Anything you'd like to add?"_

_"Yeah," Corey replied, still looking very amused, "Was it like a light little touch or are we talking a full on puppy kiss?"_

_"More like a Rottweiler," the boy scowled as the room burst into fits of giggles once more. _

_However, a small smile began to creep up his face as his gaze fell on Julia, who had remained silent. Meredith felt her heart begin to pound faster in her chest; it was common knowledge that Julia almost never lied and as far as everyone knew, was supposedly not very good at it. Walking up to her until the two were toe to toe, Darren looked her straight in the eye._

_"Jules?" he said coaxingly, "You would never lie to me, would you? Come on, just go ahead and admit you did it." Meredith held her breath, waiting for her friend to reply. _

_However, Julia met Darren's gaze straight on and spoke confidently, without a flicker of doubt._

_"It wasn't me and I don't know who did it," Julia announced, looking her friend square in the face, "So if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you would remove yourself from my personal space." Darren looked shocked and taken aback, as the room echoed with laughter._

_"Ouch," Nick Strauss snorted, "You want some ice for that burn?"_

_"I'd listen to her, Darren," Lauren commented, putting an arm around Julia, "She seems serious..."_

_"But, but...huh?" Darren stammered, taking a few steps backward. Meredith decided this was a good a time as any to make herself known and strolled out from around the corner._

_"Hey everyone, did you guys miss me?" she proclaimed over the incessant chatter._

_"Wh-oh, hey Mere!" Darren said happily, realizing who was talking, "Wait, when did you get here?" _

_"I came for the show and hung around to say hi to everyone," she replied cheerfully, "Great show everybody!"_

_"Thanks!" the Starkids responded in unison._

_"So what's with all the shouting?" she asked casually, "Did Joe's shoe fly off again?"_

_"No," Darren muttered, "Someone licked my ear during the dementor scene and no one is admitting to it..." Meredith snickered before receiving a sharp look from Darren._

_"Sorry," she apologized, "But I'm going to be honest with you Darren. Trying to find a liar in a room full of actors is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You'll probably never find out who did it…"_

* * *

"That was you?" Darren asked angrily over the outburst of giggles, "And you never told me?" The room went silent, all eyes falling on Meredith, who now looked conflicted between being uncomfortable and being amused.

"Awkward…" Rosenthal murmured, stifling a laugh. Finally Meredith cleared her throat and smiled as innocently as she could.

"I never really intended for you to find out this way, but, yeah," she admitted sheepishly, starting to giggle, "I just can't believe you didn't figure that out, I mean, who else would torment you that way?"

"Why does none of this surprise me?" Darren fumed, still looking very stern.

"Chill out, pretty boy," Dylan laughed, giving him a hard slap on the back, "It's not like she broke your nose or anything…"


	12. Remember When?: Part 2

**This has to be one of the fastest updates I've ever done, I am honestly still in a state of shock. Just a quick note to everyone, I may or may not be able to update this story again for a while. This is due to a very busy schedule coming up, but I will try as hard as I can to update, so please be patient with me. Remember, present is in regular type, flashback is in italics. Read and review, hope you guys enjoy! Hugs and butterfly kisses, ravenclawdancer4999**

* * *

"That story is definitely right up there in our top ten finest moments," Jaime laughed, "Along with that time a trash can caught on fire…"

"WHAT?" Meredith yelped.

"Oh yeah," Rosenthal grinned, "I remember that; Matt was trying to use matches to make the edges of Dumbledore's will look old and tattered. I think one of the girls had thrown away a can of hairspray and somehow a couple of embers fell on it. No one knows exactly what happened, not even Matt, but somehow the entire trashcan caught on fire. Walker put it out though, so we didn't end up torching the place."

"We're just lucky that Richard knew where the extinguisher was," Walker added, "We would have really been in deep shit otherwise."

"As if we haven't been in deep shit before," Darren chuckled, "Almost the entire faculty at U of M was about to pass out when they found out we were putting on a show about walking, talking, and singing genitals."

"THAT was an awesome show," Joey responded, "Not just because I got to play myself."

"Because you got to make out with Jaime?" Holden taunted.

"No, because I got to watch you dress in drag!" Joey retorted.

"That was such a fun show; Sally is still my favorite role to this day," Jaime mused, "The guys wrote such a great script, music was hilarious, and I can't forget the conversations I would have with Joey underneath the sheets in the finale…"

"Do tell," Julia smiled, looking very interested.

"Well, we had a really good conversation about hamsters on opening night," Joey answered, "We also talked about the apocalypse and which one of us would die first. I already had this conversation with Nick Strauss; he already said he would be the first to die."

"I said that they would eat Lauren first," Jaime offered.

"Why me? Why not Darren?" Lauren pouted.

"Because you're bite-sized, that's why," Jaime answered, looking very pleased with herself, "The zombies want an appetizer before they move on to someone like Jim."

"Yeah, but probably one zombie would have to throw another zombie at Jim's face just to reach it," Meredith commented with a completely straight face.

"I don't know, it seems like Lauren would be the one to try to take a bunch of zombies out," Julia shrugged.

"Exactly; I'm not a badass, but I've played one before," Lauren smirked, "I have more skill with a fake switch blade than all of you combined."

"Now there was an interesting show," Dylan snorted, "You would swear that Lauren had a split-personality disorder. One minute you'd be talking to her about rainbows and sparkles, but the minute she put that wig on, you had better run."

"But then you would approach her when she was with her puppet and she'd be nicer than you'd ever seen her," Julia added.

"It's not my fault that I'm a method actress," Lauren said crossly, "As a matter of fact, it made things really difficult…"

"_Madre de Dios," Lauren muttered under her breath, trying to get into character, "Who knew playing two different characters could be so tough?"_

_ Lauren had already caught herself trying to speak in broken Spanish while playing Buggette not once, but twice at the last dress rehearsal. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't seem to find rhyme or reason as to why it happened, just that it was worst when she and Julia repeatedly moved back and forth between being bugs and humans. She tried to keep it under control, but it just kept spilling out like word vomit. It just seemed that whenever the petite girl put on the black, spiked wig with the red bandanna, she automatically felt stronger, rougher, and more badass._

_ Dylan didn't seem to have any problems adjusting, why couldn't she be more like him? He had never gotten his characters mixed up, not even once. While she had been contemplating this, her cue had come up faster than she realized. The two panels that served as doors slid open, the spotlights temporarily blinding Lauren. Without thinking, her voice took on a very throaty and high-pitched tone._

_ "Alright peoples!" Buggette's voice escaped from Lauren's mouth. She felt her heart skip several beats; she had done it again. Quickly coughing to get a second to compose herself once more, she twisted her face into one of disgust. Her eyes narrowing, her gaze swept over the audience, who looked at her expectantly._

_ "Madre de Dios muerto," she scoffed, "I can hardly breathe through all the estupidez in here."_

"Is there anything ELSE you guys haven't told me about?" Darren asked as everyone was laughing.

"Well, I guess there's all the stories from Batman that you never heard," Jim chuckled, "But I guess that's your loss…"

"What kind of stories?" Rosenthal replied curiously, Joey nodding eagerly behind him.

"Oh, you know, just the usual disasters that end up being funnier than the original script," Jaime shrugged, "Like Walker and Holden during 'To Be A Man' on the second weekend of shows."

"And Walker scraping up Holden's nose with a ball of tinsel," Lauren added, giggling slightly, "He looked like Rudolph for almost two weeks…"

"It's not that funny," Holden whined.

"Actually, yes it is," Dylan smirked, shaking his head, "But hell, I didn't know what I was going to do when I mixed up my costumes in the middle of act two."

"You did what now?" Julia raised an eyebrow, looking confused.

_"That awkward moment when stripping off your costume no longer brings thoughts of sex, but of, 'Oh shit, I'm on in thirty seconds.'" Dylan thought wryly, throwing off his construction helmet and ripping off his plaid shirt. He paused for half of a second; his mind had suddenly gone blank. "Fuck, what comes next?"_

_Looking around, extremely panicked, Dylan realized that Denise was already gone, Nick was already changed and back onstage, and the set list had disappeared. Suddenly, Brian sprinted by in his blue spandex, his red cape whipping out behind him as he ran._

_"Green Lantern," Dylan decided, not having to time to question the situation further. He grabbed his black spandex and yanked it on at the speed of light. He finished getting changed just as he heard Walker start to sing. Running to the wings on stage left, he stopped dead roughly fifteen feet from the stage._

_All he saw was Jim, Denise, Jeff, and Jaime, all dressed in their 'villain' attire. He felt his heart jump up into his throat, but he didn't have time to agonize. Thinking on his feet, he turned around and sprinted through the backstage, cursing profusely the whole way. Dylan didn't stop until he reached stage right, almost taking Lauren out in the process. Lauren whipped around to give whoever ran into her a piece of her mind, but her eyes grew large as she realized who it was and what he was wearing._

_"What the-" she started._

_"Two, words," Dylan panted, trying to catch his breath, "Costume mix-up, along with, three other words. I'm. A. Dumbass." Not bothering to question him further, Lauren nodded just as her cue came up. Dylan simply covered for his mistake and ran out with her, taking his usual spot in the back row._

"How did I not know that happened?" Julia exclaimed, looking very amused.

"Not all of us were lucky enough to have a grand total of three costumes, Jules," Lauren commented bitterly.

"Yeah," Joe added solemnly, "Some of us had only two."

"Fuck you, Walker," Meredith fumed, remembering her nine costumes and frantic quick changes very clearly.

"Fuck YOU!" he replied menacingly.

"Fuck you, I'm gonna kick your ass!" Holden sang fondly as there was a collective groan from almost the entire group.

"Not this again," Jim moaned, attempting to block out the sound

* * *

**A/N: As much as I wish these stories were real, they aren't. The exception is the first one with the trashcan; Jaime mentioned this in an interview somewhere. Don't ask me which interview, because I haven't got a clue. Don't forget to use that nice little review button at the bottom of the page!**


	13. Author's Note (DON'T BE ALARMED)

**Hey guys, *edges back in awkwardly* I know I've kind of been nonexistent for about three months, I apologize for that. For those of you who are into theatre, I hope you understand. For those of you who aren't, it's like selling your soul for two-three months straight and then ensuring you'll never get it back. **

**While I haven't been able to crank out another chapter in this story just yet, don't be alarmed. I've just been having some writer's block for this story, but I will be continuing it. How can I not? You guys have been so enthusiastic about this and you make me feel all warm and fuzzy every time I read your reviews! Thank you to all of my reviewers, especially my returning ones. On the positive side, I have created a sort of consolation prize for everyone who has been so patient with me. I've started a new fanfiction entitled, "Nerf Gun Battle Royale," and I've already finished the first two chapters, so that will be uploaded shortly for your pleasure.**

**On another note, I hope you all enjoyed AVPSY! I know I did; damn Matt and Nick's ability to make me go from grinning like an idiot to sobbing mercilessly in under five minutes. But in all seriousness; I'm always blown away by their writing ability in every Starkid show. They manage to make such a funny show, but still deliver a heartfelt message each and every time. Thank you to them, Clark and all those badass musicians, the behind the scenes crew, and of course, the actors. Did you see everyone's face at the end when they had to say goodbye to Darren? Man, do these people share an amazing bond. I sincerely hope that is what I deliver to you guys as I'm writing, is that Starkid is a close-knit, imperfect, and dorky group of people who are a family above anything else.**

**All my gratitude and butterfly kisses,**

**ravenclawdancer4999**


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